


Ghosts in the Machine

by themushroomman



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Action/Adventure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:54:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22823635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themushroomman/pseuds/themushroomman
Summary: Noelle is off on her very first mission with team sweet flips! But the town of Ender and the Green Ocean it resides in have a lot waiting for the crew: new skills, new friends, and secrets desperately struggling to come uncovered.
Relationships: Carey Fangbattle/Killian
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

“—and I swear to the goddess, she quacked when I punched her!”

“No way! Seriously?”

“Well, more like when I broke her ribs it sounded like a duck.”

“And that’s when you realized how much you loved ducks, huh?”

“It was my awakening, you could say—duck!”

“Okay, let me explain to you something about puns—” _WUMPH_. The golem they’d been sparring with knocked Magnus off his feet.

“Sorry, big guy. Double meanings are a bitch.” Killian held out a hand to him while keeping her eyes on the golem as it steadied itself and began lumbering towards them again. 

“It’s alright.” Magnus pulled himself up and dusted Steven’s globe off. “But how about we kill this thing now?”

“Works for me,” Killian said. “Ooh, did you see it stagger there? Let’s rush its knee!” The clay leg didn’t give as much as she’d hoped it would, but once Magus slammed into it next to her the golem shook and fell to one knee.

“Okay,” Killian said, “I’ll ground its arm. You climb up and smack the button.”

“Nice pun!” said Magnus, who was already hanging off the golem’s elbow. It did a shoulder shimmy, but he managed to hold on.

Then the clay hand began straining against Killian. “Errrah!” She shouted, feeling sweat spring up on her forehead. Her feet started to lift off the ground. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the golem’s other hand coming at her flyswatter style. “Magnus! Now!”

It was like art. Killian let go of the golem and its arm jetted up into the air, flinging Magnus the last couple of feet he needed to smash the red orb embedded in the golem’s chest. The force of its swatting arm even caused it to do a little twirl as it fell, letting Magnus land safely, still clutching the golem’s chest.

“Holy shit,” Killian gasped, putting her hands on her knees. “I couldn’t have asked for that to go any better. And here I was thinking that a weaponless fight was going to be the rest of our day.”

Magus winced as he got up. “Besides a little bruising I totally agree. High five!”

“Let’s go see how everyone else is doing—hey! Leave the poor thing’s arms alone. We’re still gonna be using it.

“I was just admiring them is all. I did lose my collection not too long ago, though.”

“No touching.”

“Yeah, alright. Let’s go.”

The two fighters strolled out of the room with an official looking sign on the door reading “smiting in process” and peeked into the room next door.

“Aw, hey you two!” Carey waved and twirled out of the way of a golem fist. “You’re just in time to see mine and Noelle’s newest stunt. Let’s hit it, Noe!”

“Wait, I’m sorry,” Noelle said. “Now you don’t want me to hit it?”

“No, I meant that to be a nickname, but I guess that one isn’t gonna stick either. I’ll keep working on it.”

“Well alright then. In the meantime, I’ll hit this golem!” Noelle swung her two gorilla fists up. She flicked her wrists and the hands clattered to the floor, leaving two empty sockets. Noelle curled her third arm over her head and rushed the golem. She sank her two sockets into the golem’s torso and the arms began to whine with energy as they charged something up.

_Crunch_. The golem brought its hands down in a double fist onto Noelle’s third arm. 

“Oh dear,” they heard her mutter, and then her fists exploded inside the golem. The force launched her backwards, but she was able to steady herself quickly. The golem wasn’t. It teetered and fell with a crumbly _shumph_.

“Rad!” Carey said. “Now throw me at it!”

“Sorry, but can’t you just run at it?”

“I mean, yeah, but that’s not as cool. Just give me a good toss!” Carey was already tucked into the barrel of one of Noelle’s arms. “Hurry! Before it gets back up.”

“If you’re sure…” Noelle took careful aim and shot her teammate in a beautiful arc at the golem. The dragonborn whooped and landed squarely on its chest button and took a bow. 

“The incredible number Elle!” she cried. “Giver ’er a hand!”

“But L isn’t a number.” Magnus frowned.

“I mean, I was going for the whole No. 3113/No. Elle thing? Ah, forget it. I’ll figure something out soon. I’m nearly there!”

“Well,” Noelle said, “what did you think?” She tried to straighten her third arm that had gotten skewed to the side.

“It seemed pretty dangerous...” Killian said, “...which is par for the course, I guess. Let’s just work on charging up faster so you don’t have to take hits like that.”

“And what about me?” asked Carey from behind her. Killian had long ago given up trying to keep track of her girlfriend and settled for not yelping when Carey popped up on her shoulder.

“You,” Killian twirled around and dusted some golem powder off of Carey’s nose, “are hopeless with coming up with nicknames. I’m going to have to help you with that.”

“Oh yeah? The best you ever came up with was ‘scary Carey.’ Can’t say I’ve got too much faith in you.”

“Hmm. Taako might be able to help. He’s pretty good at coming up with names.”

“Oh yeah! Let’s go see how his and Merle’s challenge is going. Got your hands back, Noelle? Let’s go!”

The third room was empty except for a completely undamaged and deactivated golem in its center. Magnus guessed that his teammates might be in the mess hall, so the regulator gang trooped over with him. 

Sure enough, upon entering the double doors to the hall, they saw Merle sitting at a far table and the tip of a wizard hat poking up above the table next to him. He waved and took a long swig of beer. He was holding the mug with his soulwood arm, and the wooden handle of the mug was starting to bud and flower. Then he belched and the flowers wilted away.

“What’s wrong with our wizard friend?” Magnus asked and pointed to the hat.

“Oh, that. He’s just sulking because he didn’t have enough time to come up with a good punchline before we offed the golem.”

“Killian had a pretty good one about grounding it,” Magnus said.

A loud sigh came from under the table.

“Or something about dusting it,” Magnus continued. It looked like he was just getting going.

“Oh no! Taako’s giving us a _dirty_ look!” Merle said.

“Okay, not to interrupt,” Killian interrupted, “but how the hell did you two take out your golem so fast? You’re not exactly...super good at fighting without your items.”

“Oh, that.” Merle took another swig of beer. “So I started by doing this very cool somersault—”

“You tripped,” came Taako’s voice from under the table.

“Okay, well it turned into a somersault. And then I threw my wood arm at its eyes to blind it—”

“Which is when I took over the whole show,” Taako said, sitting up. Nothing cheered his spirits like bragging. “Because about then I noticed that my umbra staff had gotten itself out of the locker room and back to me. So I just fired off a round of magic missile and knocked the big boy over and out.”

“And he couldn’t have done it without me!” Merle refused to be phased.

“Hmm,” Taako muttered.

Before anything could escalate, the loudspeaker crackled and someone said, “Killian, Carey, please report to the Director’s quarters for assignment.”

“Ooh,” Carey leapt up and stuck her fists into the air. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a real assignment! Wonder who’s been naughty?”

“Hey Noelle,” said Killian, “why don’t you come along too? I’d say you’re ready for your first mission, don’t you?”

“Oh, that’s sweet of you,” said Noelle. “If you think so then I’ll give it a try!”

“Aww yeah!” Carey cheered. “Team sweet flips is back in business! Let’s go wreck some shit!”


	2. Chapter 2

“You will  _ not _ be ‘wrecking shit,’” said the Director. “This mission is a bit of a sensitive one.”

“Unlike all the other ones that were super open and easy,” Killian said.

“Noted, but this one is more than most. Killian, I need you to go back to Ender.”

Killian stood up a little straighter and the grin fell off of Carey’s face. Noelle looked nervously from the two of them to the Director, but didn’t say anything.

“What’s happening in Ender?” Killian asked.

“We’ve heard the locals talking about some sort of haunting presence. Troublingly, there was one who said there’s something in the Green Ocean that talks to them, but all they can hear is static.”

“So that means…”

“Yes. There’s someone related to the Bureau of Balance down there trying to relay information that the voidfish has eaten.”

“Would I be right in assuming that it’s Mai?” asked Killian.

The Director sighed and closed her eyes. “She’s certainly the most likely culprit. But we’re going on rumors here, so I’ll need you to be  _ discreet _ while you search for answers down there.”

“Oh,” said Noelle, looking down. “If that’s the case, then I guess I’d better sit this one out.”

“Not necessarily,” said Carey, who had somehow gotten on top of Noelle without Killian noticing. Carey patted the robot’s face. “Our asking has to be discreet, but  _ we _ don’t have to be. Honestly, the more flamboyant we are, the less suspicious. Like, what’s gonna give you more pause? An eccentric trio of sightseers or three mysterious hooded figures? Ooh, we could be a traveling circus act! Or a noble with her bodyguards!”

“You are a compendium of bad ideas, as usual,” said the Director with a tiny smile.

“Aww, thanks D,” Carey said. 

The Director wrote some notes in the journal in front of her at dizzying speed. “However you decide to go about it, please hurry,” she said. “I wish I had more information to give you, but we can’t afford to wait if things get worse.”

“We get that,” said Killian. “We’ve done fine with zero intel before.”

“Do let me know if you three need anything while you’re down there. You’re not alone in this.”

“Sure thing.” Killian turned. “Gang, let’s suit up and meet in the Hangar.”

Carey stopped her just outside of the Director’s doors. “This gonna be okay?” she asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. Fine. Thanks for, uh, keeping the mood light in there. I appreciated it.”

“Glad to help, girlfriend. Just don’t go off on your own with this one, okay? There’s a reason they send three of us.”

“Yeah. Yup. Haven’t we talked about that enough?”

“ _ I’ve  _ talked about it. You just do that. Where you just agree with me and don’t actually say anything.”

“Look, we need to go.”

“I know,” Carey said unhappily. She couldn’t afford any tension between the two of them at the start of a mission. “Love you, bugbear.”

“And I love you, hugbear,” Killian said.

“Well I love you, thugbear.”

“I love  _ you  _ tugbear.”

“I...fuck, this is hard! I love you, slugbear. Y’know, slugging? Cause you punch things?”

“Sure. I love you, snugbear,” Killian said without hesitation. 

“Oh, stop being such a smugbear!”

“Shrugbear.” Killian shrugged with an admittedly smug expression.

“You think Avi would be a chugbear?”

“And Theo from Chug n’ Squeeze would be a mugbear. And Magnus would be a pugbear!”

“Fine! You win!” Carey said. “You’re stupidly good at coming up with rhymes. It’s not fair.”

“Don’t get all ughbear on me.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Hey, you started it.” Killian said. She opened up her arms and offered a hug.

But even with Killian’s arms around her, Carey couldn’t shake the flutter of apprehension in her stomach as she thought about the mission.


	3. Chapter 3

Avi had a sphere primed by the time team sweet flips assembled in the bay. 

“Geez, you really want us gone, don’t you, Avi?” Carey said. “Are you still mad about the haircut? It looked great, by the way. At least, with the hat on it did.”

“Oh my god,” said Avi. “You guys are the only ones who are still hung up on that. Can’t we move on?”

“We just want to make sure that we’re cool. We were all drunk, y’know?” Killian pointed out.

“Now, why don’t y’all leave Avil alone?” Noelle said.

“Yeah Noelle! You tell em!”

“After all,” she continued a bit shyly, “if he gets any more stressed, what’s left of his hair might fall out.” 

The other three stared at her slack-jawed, Carey and Killian’s faces frozen in disbelieving smiles, and Avi’s in a look of betrayal. The silence lasted long enough to make Noelle start to fidget nervously.

Finally Killian shouted, “Holy  _ shit _ , Noelle! You’ve been holding out on us! That wasn’t even that good of a burn, but I’m just so proud! I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“That’s our Nobot!” Carey said. “Eh? Eh? Noelle/robot? Oh come  _ on _ guys. You gotta meet me halfway.”

“You traitor,” Avi grumbled. “They’ve corrupted you. Get in the sphere.”

Carey launched herself from Noelle’s head through the door of the sphere and landed neatly on a seat. Killian gave Avi a consoling pat on the back and followed her. Noelle squeezed in after.

“What’re the chances Avi’s gonna try to kill us?” Carey asked.

“Oh, he’s too cool for that,” Killian answered. “But I’d say our odds of a bumpy ride have seriously increased.”

“I feel bad,” Noelle said.

“Avi’s cool.” Killian gave the robot a comforting bump. “He once had to get a super stoned Magnus into one of these things. I’m sure our teasing is a cakewalk for him.”

“Those boys can be brutal,” said Carey. “Did you hear how they broke Leon?”

“Ha. Yeah. That.” 

  
The sphere shuddered in its slingshot, the hangar door opened, and the three were shot out with a  _ twang _ that seemed louder than normal.


	4. Chapter 4

Faerun opened up beneath them, and as always, Killian’s stomach dropped—something she’d never tell Carey. The sky was deep blue, and beneath them were green trees almost as far as the eye could see. 

Noelle stayed practically glued to the glass through the trip. “Just incredible,” she whispered, then frowned a little. “Now, I never made it much further than Hogsbottom, but we are going to the Green Ocean, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Killian said.

“Then I guess I’m a bit confused. Where’s the water? All I’m seein’ are trees. I suppose I should have paid more attention in geography class.”

“No, that’s understandable,” said Carey. “The ‘Green Ocean’ was probably someone’s idea of a joke. This  _ is _ the ocean.” She pointed down to the trees. 

“This place used to be a  _ huge  _ crater, a long, long time ago,” Killian explained. “But instead of filling up with water, for whatever reason it filled up with forest.”

“We’re in the shallows here,” said Carey. “There’s a pretty sudden drop off ahead where the trees get enormous enough to block out the light. There’s a constant fog, and there are said to be strange creatures and treasures if you get far enough in. But,” Carey’s voice took on an overdramatic and spooky tone, “few have lived to tell the tale of venturing that far into the Ocean.”

Killian coughed and stole the story back. “And right at the edge of that drop off is a little village called Ender. It’s a vacation destination for thrillseekers, adventurers, and, uh, treasure hunters. Speaking of which,” she pulled the lever and the sphere started to slow its descent toward the trees. “Have we decided on our cover story?”

“Well,” said Carey, “I’d like to not draw too much attention to ourselves before I have a chance to scope things out. So why don’t you two—” The sphere jolted as a tree branch caught their parachute and neatly ripped it off the back of their sphere and sent them spinning off at a wild angle.

Killian gripped her seat hard enough to puncture the padding and whispered a prayer to the goddess to keep her breakfast on the inside. She heard Noelle klonking against the glass, but she didn’t seem to be in any danger.

Carey kept her seat with ease, of course. She whooped as they went spiraling between two tall pines, then yelped as they narrowly missed a chimney that seemed to appear from nowhere. Then she saw a fountain approaching rapidly and dove under Killian’s seat to brace for impact.

To the sphere’s credit, it didn’t crack at all when it collided with the stone lip of the fountain. It did cause a deafening screech that made everyone in Ender pause. A werewolf near the edge of town started to howl.

Noelle was the first to recover. She checked to make sure that all the important pieces of her were where they should be and then gathered the bits and baubles that had come loose from the three during the ping pong routine. She gave two neat piles to Killian and Carey.

“Well, this is a bit of a pickle,” she sighed. “I’m not sure how discreet we can be now.”

“S’fine.” Carey crawled out from under Killian and shook her still-ringing head. “We’re team sweet flips. We know how to roll with the punches. Even if the punches are a little bigger than we were expecting.” She opened the door to the sphere and climbed out with as much of a flounce as her dragonborn body allowed. “Tut tut!” she tutted in an outrageous but strangely believable accent. “Well this right heeyah won’t do. Not at all. I’ll pay for the damage, of course, just put it on my tab.” She flicked her wrist vaguely at the gathering group of villages.

A dark-haired halfling with the posture of someone important pushed through the crowd. His expression wavered somewhere between anger and curiosity. “Who...are you?” he asked.

“Oh, me?!” Carey blustered. Killian stepped in. Carey was an excellent actor, but absolutely abysmal at coming up with names. A few months ago she’d tried to convince some guards that she was a noble from an ancient dragonborn clan and she went by Puffe the Magik Draegon. Once when someone had caught her and Killian hiding in a kitchen she’d said her name was Spatula.

“This is Coriander—Lady Coriander—of the Frozen Falls.” Killian said. “I’m her ward, and this is—”

“Rosemary!” Noelle cut in excitedly.

Killian nodded, as if that was all the introduction that an imposing robot needed.

“Now,” Carey clapped. “Point us to the inn with the best sauna—I heeyah Ender has some de _ light _ ful ones. Rrr...osemary,” (Carey was almost as bad at remembering names as she was at coming up with them) “be a deayah and return the sphere.”

“Right away, ma’am!” Noelle made a show of tapping her bracer, and the gathered villagers oohed as the sphere thrummed to life and took off into the sky.

“Right this way,” said the halfling. It seemed he’d decided that ingratiating was the way to go.

Carey managed to flounce along after him. “And what’s your name and relationship to this fine little town?” she asked.

“My name is Roger Pency, and I’m the mayor.”

“Oh, how delightful! You know, I knew as soon as I saw you that you were someone of import. You just had that air.”

“Well, you’re quite perceptive, my lady.”

“Oh hohoho!” The two continued to butter each other up all the way down the street. 

The crowd began dispersing, but Killian noticed several people trailing after their little group. She turned and hit them with her patented look, the Kill Bill™, named so after the time she’d sent a dwarf named William to a healer after glaring at him. She tended to leave out the part of that story where she punched him in the throat after glaring at him.

No punch was required today. The remaining bystanders went scampering almost instantly, and the group arrived at the inn as casually as a dragonborn, orc, and large robot could.


	5. Chapter 5

The inn was nice—the kind of nice that made you afraid to touch anything for fear of breaking it—especially if you had, say, a huge crossbow strapped to your back or enormous mechanical monkey arms. Killian and Noelle stood as still as they could while Carey chatted up the wait staff.

“I didn’t know discreet missions allowed for this much luxury,” Noelle commented quietly.

“I didn’t either,” Killian responded. “Can’t say I’m that huge of a fan.”

“Oh, I am.”

“Really?”

“If I stick my arms out straight and rotate them quickly.”

Killian let out a hearty chuckle. “N-Rosemary, you’re amazing.”

“I do what I can,” said Noelle, modestly.

Carey got them a lovely room with wonderfully sturdy furniture. She nestled some stones in the corners of the room. “Aaah,” she sighed. “No eavesdroppers now, and no lady spice either! Where the hell did you get that name from, Killian?”

“Well it needed to be something exotic to match your accent, and I figured if you ever forgot it, you could just call yourself Carey and later pass it off as your odd pronunciation of ‘Carey-ander.’”

“Babe, that’s brilliant.”

“Aww, I know. And Noelle’s already putting you to shame with Rosemary. I’ll have to figure out a nice spice name for myself and we’ll be a real trio.”

“Actually, uh, I...took care of that?” Carey picked at the scales on her neck sheepishly. “The innkeeper—she’s a lovely little halfling named Rina—wanted to know about you, and the first spice that I could think of was, uh, salt.”

“My name is Salt?”

“...yeah.”

“That’s not too bad,” Killian shrugged. “Better than Spatula.”

“Oh my god!” Carey threw a goose-down pillow at her. “I get it. I’m bad with names.”

“Is that how it’s gonna be?” Killian picked up two pillows.

“Now, I’m gonna stop y’all there.” Noelle stood up quickly. “You two are going to break something or get flirty, and either way I’d rather not be in the middle of that.”

“We aren’t making you feel left out, are we?” Carey asked. “Would you like a hug? I’m gonna give you a hug.” She leapt from her spot on the bed onto Noelle.

“No, I’m not—that’s not what I meant!”

“C’mon, Killian, give this bot a hug!”

Killian came over and hoisted both her teammates into the air with a massive bear hug.

“That’s very nice,” said Noelle, politely. “You can put me down now.”

“You don’t actually feel like we leave you out, do you?” asked Carey as Killian set the two down. “You gotta tell us if that ever happens.”

“Well...there is something you could let me in on.”

“What’s that?”

“Tell me what happened at Ender last time you were here.”

“Oh.” Carey looked over at Killian. “I wasn’t here either…”

“Yeah, good point,” Killian sighed. “Sorry for putting that off. Storytime, I guess?” She settled down on the bed and stared at her hands. “I was in Ender a little over a year and a half ago—this was before I got hired on by the Bureau of Balance. I was here as a bodyguard for a treasure hunter who had used some sort of complex divination that I never tried to understand to deduce that there was an ancient and incredibly powerful artifact deep in the Green Ocean. 

“So we came here to Ender, and set off into the Ocean, following whatever sort of magical compass he had. Turns out a reclaimer from the BoB—a druid named Mai—was looking for it too. We got there first, to a massive boulder with something lodged in it.

“You’d think it’d be the Gaia Sash, right? Given the forest and all. But no, it was the Oculus. While my hunter was trying to figure out what it was, Mai showed up and we fought. It was a good battle, and I could tell that she was a decent person and wasn’t gonna try to kill me, but I ended up knocking her very close to the Oculus, and things got very bad.

“I got knocked unconscious almost immediately, so I’m not entirely sure what happened, but I know Mai caused a whole lot of destruction before disappearing with the eyeglass. I...was the only survivor.

“The Director decided it would be best to erase knowledge of the entire event because Mai had killed people in...haunting and unexplainable ways, and it would be better it all was forgotten for a lot of reasons. She hired me as a reclaimer after, and I thought that was that.

“But now it turns out Mai—or someone erased by the voidfish—is still alive. And as much as I’d like to hope that that means she’s better now that the Oculus is destroyed, I can’t get myself to believe that.”

The other two were very quiet while Killian finished.

“Guys, you don’t need to make that big of a deal out of it,” she said finally.

“It’s just…” Noelle clacked two of her hands together, “I’m very sorry to hear that that happened to you. It sounds awful.”

“Certainly wasn’t fun,” Killian agreed. “But I got to meet you guys because of it, so I’m glad for that.”

“Aww,” said Carey. “I feel another hug coming on.”

“Oh, alright,” Noelle said.

Thanks to the stones, the staff downstairs didn’t hear the squeak of scales on metal and the loud  _ thump _ as Killian lost her footing on a fuzzy rug and all three of them tumbled to the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Cary had thought to pack some fancy clothes, in case they needed to go through with the sightseer act, so that evening she dolled herself up in a lacy purple dress with a matching hat and parasol. It was ridiculous—and unbelievably cute.

Thankfully, the only thing she had that fit Killian was a jacket (pink and ruffled) and a bowtie (also pink). Carey had even brought a hat that she insisted Noelle wear.

“Well aren’t we a pretty picture,” she said. “All ready for a night on the town searching for clues? Do we want to divide and conquer?”

“Ooh, I’d rather not,” Noelle said.

“I’d second that,” agreed Killian. “Splitting the party, something doesn’t feel good about that.”

“Okay. A team that flips together sticks together...or something. I’ll work on that. Anyways, shall we? Salt? Rose...bud? Rosehip?”

“Rosemary.”

“That’s the one.”

“After you, Lady Coriander.” Killian swept the door open.

They trooped downstairs. As expected, there were a lot of curious stares, but thankfully none seemed suspicious. 

“We’re off to the taverns!” Carey cried. “Hope to see you there! I might just buy everyone drinks if you find me.”

“The Director isn’t gonna be too happy with our expense report,” Killian muttered. Carey rolled her eyes and flounced out the door. It was easier for her this time with all the ruffles.

The streets were brightly lit and clean, but not that busy. Ender had lost a lot of population in a year and a half. Not that much of a surprise, after 28 people vanished. The voidfish couldn’t erase memories completely, and Ender must have caused a lot of unpleasant fuzz for the family and friends of the disappeared. It was really no wonder a lot of people left and never returned.

Killian guided them to the open square where night festivities happened. It was a stone courtyard lit with colored lanterns and decorated with rock formations likely found in the forest. Food, drink, and game stalls lined the outer edges of the square. About thirty people milled around. It looked much emptier than it should have been.

Carey let out what could only be described as a royal giggle and raced off towards one of the game booths. Killian noticed a couple burly fighters eyeing her up, so she went to address them.

And just like that, Noelle was alone. She shuffled uncomfortably around the square. She always felt so much bigger and awkwarder when she was in a large crowd. Her favorite thing to do as a child had been to lose her mama in the big crowds at fair day and go exploring on her own. She missed being little.

Then again, she noticed a tall, droopy-faced elf staring at her and returned his stare until he shuffled away, being big had its benefits.

“S’cuse me,” she heard from behind her. She turned around carefully and saw a pair of dwarf girls who looked to be twins.

“Why hello there,” Noelle said. “What can I do for you ladies?”

The girls fiddled with their curls and kept glancing at each other and behind them. It seemed like they’d been dared to come talk to her.

“Do, do you want treasure?” one of the girls asked.

“Not necessarily...” Noelle panicked slightly, realizing that they’d never agreed on a cover story. “I’m here with my friends for...an adventure?”

“An adventure?” The other girl asked.

“Oh, well, we’re here looking for...secrets, I guess.”

“Oh!” Both the girls’ faces lit up. “We can help you find secrets.”

“What kind of secrets?” asked Noelle. “We’re not interested in any old secret, you know. We need something special.”

“We know a secret that the grown ups don’t want us to talk about. We can take you to it.”

“That sounds very promising! Let’s go get my friends.” Noelle held out her hands and the dwarf girls readily grabbed each of her pinkies on either side.

They found Carey first, sitting at the counter in front of a food booth. The booth worker seemed completely charmed by her, smiling and nodding as she swirled a large vat of curry.

Carey grinned when she saw Noelle and waved her over. “Over here, No...semary!”

“Nosemary?” Noelle heard the booth worker ask.

“Oh, you’d pronounce it Rosemary in your funny little dialect, wouldn’t you?”

“That’s how everyone says it, as far as I know.”

“Oh ho ho ho!” Carey laughed. “If you say so, my deeyah. I’ll humor you. Rosemary, darling, meet Anya. She makes curry so hot that I’d swear I was a firebreather.” Noelle noticed Carey’s fangs were stained yellow and there were yellow splatters on her sleeves.

“Pleasure to meet you, Anya,” Noelle said. “Lady Coriander, these two little ladies have something they need to show us.”

“Now who’s this?” Anya leaned over the booth to look down at the twins. “I don’t recognize your little faces. Are you Fairweather’s girls?”

One of the girls started to speak, but the other one elbowed her. “Can’t tell you,” she said.

“What are you going to show our two visitors here?”

“Can’t tell you!”

Anya frowned.

“Smart girls, aren’t they?” commented Noelle. “When I was their age I’d never be able to keep a secret if someone asked.”

“When...you were...their age?” Anya eyed Noelle’s robot body doubtfully.

Carey distracted her by slapping some coppers down on the counter. “Rest assured I’ll be back tomorrow with some  _ real _ money,” she said with a wink.

“Now let’s go see what these princesses have in store for us. But first let’s see where Salt’s wandered off to.”

“Salt?” Poor Anya looked so mystified at this point that Carey worried she was hearing voidfish garble somehow.

“Aaand we’re off!” she cried and leapt from her stool.


	7. Chapter 7

Killian had decided to do what she did best: insert herself into conversation. She strolled up to the fighters and nodded sagely at something one of them was saying. When the three stopped to look at her, she said, “Let me get you friends some drink!” And like that, she was one of them. They went back to griping about the weather, about the weak ale, about their employers. Killian laughed along, and when one of them mentioned the town seeming off recently, she cut in casually.

“I know what you mean! What’s up with this place? It sometimes feels...haunted,” she said.

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” the one with painted nails glanced around. “’Bout a year ago somethin’ ghost-like and magicky happened to—”

“Ghostlike and magicky? You sound like a child!” snorted the one with beads in his hair.

“Well I don’t know how it worked,” huffed the first one. “No one does. There was somethin’ magicky that started givin’ folk cold chills and fuzzy head.”

“Thome folk,” piped up the third. She had a broken tusk, and it gave her a whistley lisp. “Never affected me none.”

“I never got the fuzzies, but there are cold spots out in the forest that there never were before,” said beady. Beady? The downside to Killian’s assume-you’re-one-of-them plan was that she never learned anyone’s name. It had taken her about four months before she’d admitted to Johann that she had no idea who he was.

She shook her head slightly to focus. What Beady was saying might actually be important. “Where’s this spot in the forest?” she asked.

Beady shrugged. “Moves around, but I feel it most out toward the oak clump.”

“Oh yeah?” said painted nails. “That’s where I get the fuzzies the strongest.”

“That’th really thomething,” Lispy commented. The three were silent for a while, then took drinks of their ale.

Killian took a breath to ask about the oak clump, but heard a “Sa-a-a-a-a-alt dear!” from behind her. She turned and saw Carey grinning. Her fangs were yellow for some reason, and the color clashed horribly with her dress. She still looked unfairly cute.

Noelle trailed behind her, holding the hands of two dwarf children. 

She turned back to the fighters with a wry smile. “Gotta go. Employers, amiright?”

Painted nails gave a knowing laugh. Beady thanked her for the ale. Lispy frowned.

“Your name’th Thalt?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Killian couldn’t think of anything clever to say, so she just looked at her expectantly.

“Oh.” Lispy looked uncomfortable. “It’th a nithe name.”

“Not it’s not. It’s terrible.”

“Uh, right. Yeah.” Lispy seemed relieved to see her go. As she met up with her team, Killian realized that she would have had the perfect opportunity to ask Lispy’s name. Blast.

Noelle filled the two in on what little the twins had told her. They both perked up at the “something grown ups won’t talk about” bit.

“I’m excited to see what they know,” said Carey. They had stepped out of earshot of the girls to discuss. “Even if it’s not something relevant, I know Lady Colander or whatever her name was would insist on seeing what this is all about. And I have to stay true to the character.”

“What is it with you and kitchen appliances?” asked Killian. “But yeah, I’m game. Good find, Noelle!”

“Splendid!” said Noelle. She brought the twins over. “We’d like to know about your secret, girls—it is getting late, though. Maybe you should get home for the night. I don’t want your mama worrying about you.”

“No!” said one of the girls. “We go now!”

“Well, you’re the bosses,” said Killian. “Lead on.”

The team followed as the two girls skipped out of the square.

“This is crazy suspicious, right?” Carey whispered to Killian. “It’s not just me?”

“Yup. Not enough to chicken out, though. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”

“I love it when our minds are in sync like this,” said Carey. She gave her girlfriend a peck, then caught up with the twins.

The girls led them down out of Ender’s clearing into the fringe of the deep Green Ocean. Great tree roots broke through the cobblestone path, and the moon cast patchy beams of light through the branches above.

Carey and Killian doubled their guard now that there were trees that people might be hiding in, so neither was surprised when four menacing figures stepped out from the behind a tree. Noelle was the only one caught by surprise.

“Now put down your weapons and all the valuables you have on you,” said the figure in front.

“Um,” Killian scratched her neck. “No offense, but the three of us are pretty freaking strong. I think we can take you.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that. Sage, Luca, get over here.” The dwarf girls slipped away from Noelle in a wink and rushed to the figure’s side. The man drew two knives and placed them on the girls’ throats. “Now drop everything or I slice them open.”

“You!” Noelle’s voice came out choked with rage. She started toward the man, but he stopped her by pressing the point of his left knife hard enough into Sage’s neck that she whimpered. 

Carey narrowed her eyes. As far as she could tell, this man was deadly serious. Strangely, though, neither of the girls seemed too concerned.

“Did you give them the line about telling them a secret that adults wouldn’t talk about?”

The girls nodded.

“Excellent. That one gets ‘em every time, huh?” The man chuckled, then glared at the three. “Weapons and valuables. Now.”

“We don’t really have a choice, do we?” Carey muttered to Killian.

“Yeah, I’m not about to call his bluff,” Killian replied. “Nothing we can do.” She unslung her crossbow and dropped it on the cobblestones.

But there was something Noelle could do. She knew if she hesitated she would never have the nerve to do it, so with barely a thought she launched herself from her robot body at the man with the knives.

She’d only ever been outside her body briefly, and had forgotten how awful it felt. It was like the world was pulling her in a hundred different directions, and it wouldn’t be satisfied until she was torn up into nothingness. And for some reason it smelled like farts. 

But the feeling and smell disappeared when she collided with the man. This was her first time...possessing someone. It felt like she was trying to fit inside a jar that was already full. She could feel the man’s consciousness wriggling against her, trying to repel her. She thought very hard about spiders and broken bones and ghouls and cheating boyfriends—anything that might scare him and throw him off—and she felt his mind recoil for just an instant. That was all she needed to crush his mind down into the subconscious and take over the body. 

She felt a powerful vertigo in her—the man’s gut. Her—his senses exploded. The sharp smell of pine and body odor hurt his nose. The noise around him grew louder and less...echoey. She barely kept her—his feet, and the daggers clattered from his hands. The two girls looked up in confusion. They backed away a few feet, then stopped.

“Tesco, what the fuck’s the matter with you?” One of the figures in the shadows asked.

“Tesco’s not here right now,” Noelle croaked in a deep voice. She felt like she was tripping over his tongue and lips. “Carey, Killian, get’m.”

The two—baffled though they were—didn’t waste a moment.

Carey whipped two daggers from the frills of her dress and flung them at someone behind Noelle. One of them thunked into a tree, but the other landed in flesh, deep enough to cause a scream. 

Killian had her crossbow in hand as if it hand never left, and she loosed a bolt in the direction of the scream. The scream trailed off into a gurgle.

One of the figures faded away and formed again directly behind Carey. The figure pressed a shiny blade of a scimitar to Carey’s neck.

“Drop your weapons, for real this time,” the figure said in a whispery voice that the other two could barely hear, “or she dies, for real this time.”

“You bunch really only have one trick up your sleeve, don’t you?” Carey commented as she twisted her neck to try to get a better look at the sword-wielder’s face. “Not me, thoughhhhhhhEERP.” Her last word trailed off as she coughed a glop of electric fire into the woman’s face. 

To her credit, the woman kept a hold of her scimitar and made to slice Carey’s throat, but the dragonborn overpowered her enough so the blade only grazed her shoulder. It did much less damage than the recoil of the electricity ball, which had splattered off the woman’s face and down Carey’s side, eating a good portion of the dress right up.

Once Noelle saw Carey was relatively safe, she took a wobbling step in the direction of the last standing figure. She felt Tesco trying to bubble out of his subconscious, but she managed to squash him down. She fumbled in his belt for some sort of weapon, but found nothing. He had to be a magic user of some kind. Fiddlesticks.

As it happened, she didn’t need to worry about weapons, because with her next step, Tesco’s knees buckled and she crumpled to the ground.

The final figure clutched something in their robes and a booming thunderwave exploded from them. The force struck Killian, and she let out an “oof” and staggered a bit, but looked hardly the worse for it. Seeing that, the fourth figure turned and ran into the forest.

“Smooth move!” Carey shouted after them. “Abandoning your friends. Real classy!” But she had her hands too full with the charred swordswoman to give chase.

Killian squinted after the figure for a moment, then muttered, “Yeah, fuck that.” and went to help Carey. 

Once the woman was subdued, the two slowly approached Noelle, who was still on the ground, fighting both Tesco’s consciousness and the urge to vomit.

“N-noelle? You in there?” Carey asked. 

“Uh, uh-huh. Just get this guy tied up and I’ll leave. He really doesn’t want me here and he’s fighting. It’s making his stomach—urp—pretty queasy.”

Carey roped him up like she did this sort of thing regularly, and Noelle flushed herself from Tesco’s mind. Even the open air that threatened to rip her apart was a relief after the sickening stifling body, and the cool tubes and wires of her robot body were more comforting than she’d ever thought possible.

She heard the sound of retching. Seemed Tesco didn’t have as good control over his stomach as she did. Noelle righted herself and surveyed the scene. There were three incapacitated hoodlums. She saw Killian pop the cork on a healing potion and administer it to the two injured ones as Carey grabbed more rope to bind them. Neither of her teammates looked much worse for the wear—besides what was left of Carey’s poor dress. And in front of the aftermath stood two bewildered dwarf girls.

“Sage, Luca—those were your names, right? Are you okay?” Noelle asked.

“Uh, uh-huh,” said one as the other sat down and started to cry.

“Oh, honey,” said Noelle. “What’s the matter?”

“You—you killed Tescooooo!” she wailed.

“Of course we didn’t! You see over there? He’s still very alive, but he won’t hurt you no more.”

“Waaaaaaaaaaaah!” Killian and Carey shifted uncomfortably.

“Are you very close with Tesco?” Noelle asked.

“He gives us coppers and donuts,” Luca piped up.

“Wanna doooooonut!” wailed Sage.

“Oh, is that all?” Carey turned back and rustled through Tesco’s clothing. She dropped a fat purse in Sage’s hands and several loose silvers into Luca’s. “There! Money! Will you stop crying now?”

The wails petered out reluctantly. It’s always hard to give up a good cry.

“D-donut?” the girl sniffled.

“Well, y’see,” Carey said, “what you have there is enough money to buy a whole cartful of donuts!”

“But don’t do that,” Noelle cut in. “Why don’t you take this back to Mummy and Daddy? They’ll be very happy to see that.”

“And take these too.” Killian added two smaller purses to the girls’ supply. “This is more money than you’d ever get paid to trick tourists and rob them, so you can stop doing that now.”

“Killian, they didn’t know what they were doing,” Noelle said.

“Yeah they did.” Killina narrowed her eyes slightly at the girls, who shrank back a bit. “You can argue whether or not they meant for people to get hurt, but they knew what they were doing. They’re kids, not dogs.”

“Well I suppose…” Noelle said. She knelt down in front of the two girls. “You two will stay out of trouble, won’t you?” she asked. 

“Yes ma’am.” The two nodded.

“Then run along. If you come to the square tomorrow night I’ll buy you each a donut.”

“Thank you, ma’am!” They turned and skipped off down the cobblestones, right over the swordswoman’s scimitar.

“Now what do we do with these three?” Carey asked. Tasco still seemed pretty out of it, and the one who’d taken the dagger and crossbow bolt was unconscious, but scimitar lady seemed to be coming around.

“I imagine we should take them to the authorities,” said Noelle. “Is there a sheriff here?”

“Sure. Somewhere,” said Killian.

“Anything we want to ask these guys before I dust ‘em?” Carey asked, tossing a pouch of sleep dust back and forth.

Killian looked at Noelle. Noelle looked at Carey. Carey shrugged. “Well okay then. Lights out it is!” She dusted the lady. “And then the other two for good measure.”

“Oh shit,” said Killian. “I guess we could have asked her where the oak clump was. Course I think of that now.”

“Huh? What oak clump?” Carey asked. 

“When I was talking with those fighters they mentioned feeling fuzzy in the head and cold spots out by the oak clump. Not really sure what that is.”

“You think that Mai is in that oak patch?” Carey asked.

“There’s probably something there worth checking.”

“And here I thought I was doing a real good job trackin’ down leads with Sage and Luca,” Noelle sighed. “I should have seen that was a trap. Sorry guys.”

“Oh, pish posh.” Carey started slipping back into Lady Coriander. “You’re doing just fine. Do you know what I did on my first mission with the Bureau? So I nabbed myself a military outfit—where from isn’t important—because I need to get into a barracks for information. All I had to do was act like a guard and not stand out, right?”

“Oh goddess, this story!” Killian started laughing. “You forgot to mention that this outfit was essentially full body armor. That’s important.”

“Yeah. So I’m heading into the barracks, acting real casual and twirling my baton, and it slips as I pass a window and just taps the glass. Like, a tiny little bit. And just as I think everything’s going to be fine, the pane just fucking shatters, and it’s the loudest thing! A couple of the guards came out to see what happened, and I fucking panicked and shouted, ‘he went that way!’ and hoofed it down an alley. Like, I was gone so fast there was probably an afterimage of me holding my baton all guiltily for a couple minutes.”

“And when—” Killian cut in, wiping her eyes, “—and when she says was gone, like, she left the city.”

“Uh huh. I was completely convinced that I’d ruined everything forever and the BoB was doomed. Aah. Yeah. So you cool, Noelle.”

“Ahahaha,” Noelle giggled. “Well now I feel like I have to beat that next time.”

“You do that, Noellevator.”

“Ehh,” said Killian.

“Ech,” said Noelle. “I spent a lot of time around some, uh, very memorable elevators, and I can’t say I like being affiliated.”

“Well aren’t you so Noelloquent!”

“Carey…”

“No! Keep em coming! I’m on a roll!”

“Maybe we should get these three to jail or something now,” said Noelle.

“Oh, yeah.” Team sweet flips looked down at the three sleeping figures lying in their own blood and vomit.

“Goddess, we sure did a number on them, didn’t we?” Killian remarked. “I almost feel guilty.”

“Well Lady spice face took some damage.” Carey pointed at her dress. “You better believe I’m going to play that up. In fact,” she suddenly collapsed into Killian’s arms. “Ooh, oooooooh! It hurts so! I shan’t survive!”

She stayed committed too, insisting that Killian carry her in addition to one of the thugs.

The sheriff wasn’t in. No one was. So Carey picked the lock and they threw the three into cells and left a note stamped with one of the “official” seals that Carey had collected over the years. The team figured that would be enough to keep the thugs put, so they headed back to the inn.

Carey stayed in Killian’s arms, and let out another “Ooooooooh!” as they entered. Rina and a couple of the staff came rushing over to ask what had happened. Carey gave a description, as only Lady Coriander could, of the encounter that painted her as both good-hearted and completely inept. It seemed to endear her even further with Rina.

Killian and Noelle stood awkwardly a ways off, waiting for Carey to finish up.

“Excuse me.” A somewhat nervous-looking man approached Killian as they waited. “You’re Salt, right?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Oh,” The man started to turn red. “I’m Noah? Noah Hersh. Not that you’d know me. I was wondering if I, uh, could get a drink for you? I’d like to...you...get you a drink.”

“Um, sure. Whatever the house special is.”

“O-okay! I’ll go do...that.” Noah practically skipped off. 

Noelle tipped her head to the side, eying Killian.

“What?” Killian asked.

“You realize he was trying to flirt with you, right?”

“Flirt—what? No, he was just—wait, seriously? That was flirting?” It was the first time Noelle had ever seen her flustered like this.

“Well that was his attempt at least. Did you really not realize? You and Carey flirt all the time—oh dear, he’s coming back already.” 

Noah arrived with a large mug and an even larger grin. “Best stuff here,” he said to Killian, holding out the mug to her.

“...Y’know,” she said slowly, “why don’t you keep that? You look like you could use, uh, well, I mean, I got my ward to look after. Speaking of which,” She hustled off with an apologetic smile that cut off his protests.

“Sorry about that,” Noelle said.

“I—I just thought we had so much in common,” Noah sighed.

Noelle looked him up and down. He had wiry little muscles, a wiry little goatee, and big, darting eyes. He had a bit of armor on that had moss growing on it. Maybe a scout or a ranger of some sort.

“What...makes you think that? She asked, trying to keep the doubt out of her voice.

“I could just feel a connection, y’know?” Noah took a long swig from the mug.

“Oh I’m sure,” Noelle said. She’d been in situations like this before, and knew he was just getting started. “Look at the time. I’ve gotta be going!” she said, and hurried after Killian.

Carey looked to be fending off advances of her own.

“Oh, but the scandal if my fiance found out, dear!” she was saying to Rina. “I’d never hear the end of it!”

“Well alright,” Rina said. “But know that the offer’s always open, Corey.” She gave a wink that was the perfect balance of playful and smoulder. Damn, she was good.

At this point, Killian came in to sweep Carey away.

“This is a really horny town, isn’t it?” Carey commented back in their room. “Look out, Noelle, someone’ll be coming for you next.”

“I certainly hope not,” Noelle replied.

“Hey, let’s call it a night,” Killian said. “We’ll look for Mai in the morning.”

“Yeah, I’m sure someone’ll know where your oak clump is,” said Noelle. “That Noah fellow seemed to be a ranger. I’m sure he could help us.”

“Uh huh. Let’s prolong our interaction with Noah. I think that would be the best thing we could do,” said Killian.

“Well it’s just a suggestion. I’m sure there are plenty of other people we can ask too.”

“But none of them are awake right now,” Carey said. “Let’s just get some sleep and plan in the morning.”

“You got it, darlin’,” Killian said. She flopped onto the room’s single bed and seemed to pass out immediately. Carey cannonballed in next to her. Noelle settled down in a corner to wait.


	8. Chapter 8

Noelle had gotten used to waiting the nights out in Lucas’s lab. She was able to get into this meditative almost-sleep if she worked at it for about an hour. She’d think loosely about the day, then those thoughts would spiral into dream-like scenarios, then she could sometimes get her mind to go completely blank.

As her mind wandered tonight, though, she heard the distant echoes of voices. As she focused on them, they slipped away, remaining at the peripheries of her mind.

_ Who are you?  _ She thought as forcefully as she could. Maybe they’d hear.

The voices quieted, then as one began chanting a word that grew loud enough to be intelligible: victims. It kept getting louder. _ Victims. Victims. Victims.  _ Then Noelle saw Phandalin and a wall of searing fire. 

She jolted back to full consciousness and just barely managed to hold in a scream. She’d had flashbacks before—occasional sights, sounds, or smells, but nothing this...real. She stayed wide awake for the rest of the night and didn’t hear the voices again.

In the morning she tried to tell Carey and Killian about the...dream? Vision? But she couldn’t find the right words or the right time. It felt so...personal. She’d mention it if it ever seemed important.

“Hey,” said Carey, “why do we need a guide at all? Weren’t you here a year ago, Killian? Can’t you just show us where everything went down?”

“Well, it  _ was _ over a year ago, and it’s also, like, 10 miles into the Ocean, so I’m not super into potentially getting us lost in there. It can be easy to get...turned around.”

“So guide it is then,” Noelle said.

“I’ll pop downstairs and ask Rina who’s available,” said Carey.

“Just make it very clear what you mean by that,” Killian called after her. “I swear that lady’d take any excuse to get her hands on you.”

“It’s rather flattering, isn’t it?” Carey replied as Coriander, and disappeared downstairs.

“You chose this,” Noelle heard the orc whisper to herself. “You willingly got yourself into this.” Both of them shared a tiny smile.

The inn was mostly empty, but Rina was about, straightening up after the night’s festivities.

“Good morn to you!” Carey shrilled, and saw the gnome wince. Ah it looked like someone had a hangover. Maybe that explained all the advances last night.

“Corey, dear,” Rina smiled. “Can I get you some breakfast?”

“Oh, we’ll get something on our way out.” Carey waved a hand. “But I would love your assistance with another matter.”

Rina quirked an eyebrow.

“We’re off to the Ocean today, and we need a guide. Do you know anyone who could do that for us? Oh, and if you know a lovely young man named Noah, we’d prefer, ah, not him. Salt—that’s her name, yes—had an awkward run-in with him last night.”

“Oh, I see.  _ How _ not-Noah would you prefer?”

Carey blinked. “Come again?”

“Well, Noah’s got a sibling who I can’t recommend highly enough.”

“Well your recommendation is enough for me.”

Rina smiled. “I’ll have them meet you in the square. Be good out there.”

“Just because you asked so nicely,” Carey replied. Oops. That didn’t count as flirting, did it?

***

Team sweet flips assembled in the square, and were waved over by an individual who looked uncannily like Noah from a distance. They carried themself with more confidence, though.

“How do you do? I’m Katke.”

“You’re name’s...Cat Key?” Killian asked. “Well, who am I to judge? I’m Salt.”

“Salt? Um, what?” Katke looked concerned. “No, I’m Katke. With a ‘k.’”

“Right. Cat Key.”

“No, your inflection’s all wrong. It’s Katke.”

“Catkey?” Noelle asked.

“Just...this isn’t going anywhere. What can I do for you?”

“Well, Cat Key—is that right?—” Killian said, “—are you able to get us to the oak grove?”

Katke sighed, resigning themself to the name. “I’d be glad to do that for you. It’s a bit of a trek though.”

“About 10 miles?” Killian asked.

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“Just a guess. Howsabout we get going?”


	9. Chapter 9

The Green Ocean rose high, gnarled, and a deep, deep green. The cobblestone path was broken up almost immediately, disappearing into roots and moss. This was a new terrain for Noelle, and her robot body was not fond of it. The roots and rocks made stabilizing...difficult.

For a few minutes Carey kept of the charade of Lady Coriander, then approached Katke. “Hey you, Cat Key, my dude,” she said. “So I’m definitely Lady Coriander—high-falutin and all that—but I do tend to act a certain way around people, and I’m thinking of just dropping that out here, if it’s all the same to you.”

“That...would be excellent,” Katke said. “I gotta say, I was wondering why a noble like you would be interested in the Ocean.”

“Ha. Yeah,” said Carey, offering absolutely no explanation. 

“Pardon me,” Noelle said, but are you familiar with two little dwarf girls, Luca and Sage, who are in the square at nights? We...met them last night. I just want to make sure they’re okay.”

“...Yeah, I know who you’re talking about,” Katke said slowly. “They’re being looked after…” They made a face like they were trying to remember something, then nodded. “Yeah, they’re being looked after by someone. No worries.”

Noelle couldn’t help but be worried, though, and Killian looked like she was as well.

“It’s a voidfish thing, isn’t it?” she whispered to the orc.

Killian pressed her lips tight together. “That’s what I’m thinking. We’ll have to deal with that when we get back.”

“Deal with what?” Katke piped up. “Anything I can help with?”

“Oh, uh, no,” Killian said. “We were just talking about, uh, how much families suck? I think?”

“Oh,” Katke said. “Family troubles. Well you met Noah, so you know what I’m dealing with—I don’t mean like he’s awful, he’s a really nice guy. Very sensitive. But it’s just—I feel like there’s more out there for me—for both of us. Ender’s on it’s way out, and I don’t want us to go out with it. I just—y’know...hmm.” They fell silent.

“You alright there, Cat Key?” Carey asked.

“I’m just realizing that I, and you probably, don’t want to be talking about my life story right now.”

“Oh, we don’t mind,” Noelle said. “What did you want to do outside of Ender?”

“Well,” they were blushing now, “I always wanted to be an adventurer. But my party’s just me, Noah, and my dog right now. We really need a healer of some kind.”   
  


“Well we don’t have a healer,” said Noelle. “And we get on just fine.”

“Just buy lots of potions,” Killian said.

“And even if you get a healer type it doesn’t mean they’ll do any healing,” Carey added.

“Now that’s not fair,” Noelle said. “Merle does his best. And he does more healing than people give him credit for.”

“Okay, fine. I won’t pick on Merle,” Carey sighed. “But the point is, you don’t need healers—or even magic users for that matter—to kick ass and take name.”

“Damn straight,” said Killian.


	10. Chapter 10

As they trekked farther into the Green Ocean, it got darker, cooler, and...stranger. Great roots sprawled out from increasingly gnarled trees. Moss coated everything in spongy sheets and let off a heady earthen scent wherever they stepped on it. It smelled ancient. Aside from the wind in the treetops, hundreds of feet above, the forest was totally silent.

Katke suddenly stopped the group. They pointed between two great tree trunks. 

Noelle tensed up, Carey crouched down, and Killian went for her weapon. A moose walked out from behind the tree. It was a huge moose, about 12 feet tall, if you counted its antlers. And what a pair of antlers! They reached up like gnarled hands off the its head. Swathes of moss draped from them and down its back. 

“Is it dangerous?” Noelle whispered to Katke.

“Nah, not unless it wants to be, which it rarely does,” Katke whispered back. “We don’t see them very often though. They tend to stay deep down in the dark woods. See how huge its eyes are?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda freaking me out,” Killian said. “What’s it called?”

“The great moose.”

“Okay, that makes sense. I was kinda hoping it would be something cooler.”

They waited for the moose to pass, then continued on their way. As the Ocean got darker and cooler, Carey stopped. She narrowed her eyes at the woods. 

“Come out come out whoever you are; I can hear you,” she said.

“There was some shuffling from further up ahead, and a hooded figure peeked, almost guiltily, from behind a tree.

“Hey, you’re the one from last night who ran off,” said Killian. “Glad we still get the chance to take you out. Your friends are waiting for you in jail.”

“Yeah, I bet they’re gonna be  _ real _ happy to see you,” Carey said.

“What...what happened? What’s happening? What’s happening?” asked Katke, looking worried. “You guys didn’t tell me we’d have to fight people. I’m just a glorified tour guide!”

“Think of it as your first chance to try out real adventuring,” said Noelle.

“With some major training wheels,” said Carey. “Seeing as this is gonna be four against one.”

The figure let out a choked-sounding laugh at that, and held a staff aloft. They seemed to be a lot twitchier than they were the night before. With a hiss and the smell of burnt hair, eight very large, very ugly dogs appeared.

“What  _ are _ those?” Noelle asked.

“Beats me,” said Carey, “But let’s see how they react to this!” She threw a flash bomb. Three of the dogs reeled back from the bomb. The other four charged Carey. They made shallow but long slashes on her arms, and snapped at her throat—though they thankfully missed. Carey yelped.

“Alright you motherfuckers!” Killian shouted, and charged the dogs. But as she did, the dogs disappeared with another hiss, reappearing about 40 feet away. “What the hell?”

“Oh!” Katke exclaimed. “They must be blink dogs. They can blink short distances to avoid attacks.”

“Great. That’s just excellent,” Killian said. “Okay, you three take out hoodsy and I’ll do what I can to get the the dogs focused on me.”

“You be careful,” Noelle said.

“Always,” Killian responded. “Alright! Come at me, slobberchops!” She shot her crossbow toward the distant pack of dogs, missing them completely. “Sunnuvabitch.” She shot again. This time she hit one and it yowled.

Noelle turned to face Hoodsy. She leveled her cannon arm at them and fired. She missed. “Curse these roots!” she muttered.

“I’m sure the sun was in your eyes,” Carey said playfully, then winced. The dogs seemed to have gotten her good. “Whaddaya have for us, Cat Key?” She asked.

“Um, well, I’ve got a bow.” Katke hesitantly fitted an arrow into their longbow. “Here goes nothing, I guess,” they said, and sent an arrow flying. It hit hoodsy in the shoulder. The thwack of arrow into flesh was the only sound there was. The figure did not even recoil.

“Oh, I don’t think I can do this,” Katke said. They looked green.

“That was weird, right?” Noelle asked Carey as the figure slowly pulled the arrow from their arm and stared at it. “Like, that’s not a normal thing that people do, right? I haven’t been a robot too long?”

“Nuh-uh. Nothing about this makes sense,” Carey said. “Why would hoodsy come back? They were too afraid to face us last night when there were four of them, but now they’re suddenly confident enough to take us all on? Something’s not right.”

Hoodsy shuddered, and raised their staff again. There was another hiss and they transformed into a blink dog and blinked about forty feet away in the opposite direction of the other dogs.

“Sunnuva  _ bitch _ ,” Killian sighed. “Do we really have to do this shit?” Seven of the dogs blinked back toward her, cutting her off just as she took a breath to let out a couple really cutting insults. They did very little damage.

The dog that Carey hit, though, came for her, and got another good bite on her shoulder. In a flash, they all disappeared again.

“Noelle,” Carey flicked some blood from her shoulder and winced. “Launch me at that mothafuckin’ big dog.”

“Are...you sure?” Noelle eyed Carey’s wounds.

“Launch me at that big dog!”

“Okay, if you insist.” Noelle picked the dragonborn up carefully, gently swung her hand back, and hurled her with more accuracy than she honestly expected at what she now knew was a druid. 

Carey landed, knives first, in the dog’s side. She locked her legs around its torso and dug in further. The dog let out a hideous howl.

With it distracted, Noelle decided it was time to try a possession. She flung herself out of her robot body and at the druid.

The experience she had when she hit them was wildly different than the one she’d had with Tesco. If he had felt full, this person was overflowing. She heard voices—like the ones she’d heard the night before—but they were so loud and so many that she couldn’t make out a thing they were saying. 

There was an awful sensation where she felt something—somethings?—trying to drag her into the body and others trying to push her out. Before she could be ripped in two, she was able to wrench herself free and go flying back to her own body. She felt like she’d sprinted a mile and then been punched in the gut.

“Guys,” she gasped, “the druid is already possessed. By...a lot of things, I think.”

“Oh shit,” said Killian, then paused. “What does that mean? Does that change anything?”   
  


“It’d be nice if Merle was here,” Noelle said. “I’ve seen what he can do to ghosts.”

“Yeah, some healing might be nice too,” called Carey, who seemed to have heard the conversation, despite being 40 feet away.

“O-oh! I can at least do something about that,” Katke said eagerly. They still didn’t look well after hitting hoodsy. They ran their hands through the air as if playing a harp and pulled a handful of bright red berries out of the air, which they threw toward Carey.

“Hey thanks, friend!” Carey shouted. She freed a hand to catch as many of them as she could, stuffed them into her mouth, and then sunk herself deeper into Hoodsy’s side.

“Any time,” Katke called back. In a quieter voice, they said, “I think I’ll stick to healing, if that’s okay with you. I’m gonna be sick if I have to shoot more arrows.”

“That’s okay. We’ll handle it,” said Noelle.

As they spoke, Hoodsy reared up and tried to shake Carey off. She managed to hang on, so the dog blinked away. Carey thumped to the ground next to her knives. 

“Okay, rude,” she said as she got to her feet. She started back toward the rest of her team. “We’ll just have to try that again. Where’d they get to? Aww, way off there? Noelle, my friend, you’re  _ really _ gonna need to huck me.”

“Why don’t we wait and see if that absolutely needs to happen,” Noelle said, a little nervously. There were quite a few obstacles between them and the druid.

The dogs gathered, growling and slathering, and blinked toward Killian—all of them this time. Killian was able to jam a crossbow bolt into one of the injured dogs as it appeared, and it vaporized. As the other dogs tried to maul her, Killian slugged one, stunning it. She hoisted it and, muscles straining, heaved it at the druid.

“Goddess,” Carey whispered. “You make a girl weak in the knees.”

Though the dog didn’t manage to reach Hoodsy, it did hit a root with a  _ thunk _ and then fade away into mist.

The rest of the dogs blinked away and Killian was left to wipe blood from the scratches on her cheeks and arms.

Noelle planted herself firmly in the ground. She held her blaster arm up to the sky and it started to thrum.

“I’m chargin up a fireball that should be enough to end this,” she said. “But I’ll need a few seconds to get it all the way there, and I really need Hoodsy to be in a place I can see. I won’t really have a second shot at this.”

“Errg,” Carey said. “If I could just get to them I could try something, but they’re just out of range.”

“Try this.” Katke touched Carey and waved their other hand like a leaf in the wind. “That should give you an extra bit of speed. I hope that’s enough.”

Carey bounced back and forth a bit. “Aw _ right _ ! I can feel it!” Before she had the chance to test it out, though, hoodsy blinked into the midst of them. They were twitchy and their eyes were going crazy. It made sense, what with all the ghosts. 

Their eyes locked on Katke, and they attacked, tearing right through the ranger’s armor and pinning them to the forest floor. Hoodsy disappeared. Katke stayed on the ground.

“You good, Cat Key? Alive at least?” Killian asked with a sympathetic wince.

“Mmmooh. This was a mistake,” they moaned. They made no attempt to get to their feet.

“Don’t worry. I’ll avenge you,” Carey said. She pulled out a long technicolor dagger. It was one of the ugliest things Noelle had ever seen. Absolutely every color on it clashed.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“It’s Leira’s Spectral Dagger. If I can get a good hit on Hoodsy with it, they should be incapacitated for a little while. It’ll make them hallucinate hardcore. Hey, Killian, remember when we and Boyland pricked our fingers with it to see what it felt like?”

“Whoof. Yeah. I sure do. We learned not to mess around with the LSD. That shit is powerful.”

“Sure is,” said Carey. “Let’s see what hoodsy thinks of it.” She crouched, then took off sprinting toward the druid, ninja-style, Katke’s magic making her look like a blur of blue dragon and orange-and-purple dagger.

Hoodsy was not prepared when Carey blasted up to them, leapt into the air, and then buried the LSD in their shoulder. 

Noelle braced herself for a terrible screech of painthat never came. Instead, Hoodsy began to shake, then let out a low snarl. Their jaw dropped open and saliva started to drip from it. Carey frowned and started backing up. The druid charged her.

“I guess this works too!” Carey shouted as she fled. Hoodsy—or the ghosts possessing Hoodsy—did seem to be suffering the effect of the LSD, because its running was slow and uncoordinated, and it fell over after a few seconds. It kept its senses enough to lift its head and howl, though.

The six remaining blink dogs lifted their heads in response and appeared in a flash in front of Carey. “Shit,” she said, and they attacked. Killian was running to her with a healing potion before all the dogs had even disappeared, and Carey certainly looked like she needed it.

“Don’t you even think about leaving me behind,” she muttered as Killian handed her the potion.

“There’ll be time for guilt tripping later,” Killian said. “Just drink this for now.” She turned her head to Noelle and said, “Light that motherfucker up!”


	11. Chapter 11

Noelle’s feet sank even further into the moss. Her blaster was sending off waves of heat, and whining like a boiling kettle. Thanks to the LSD, Hoodsy was a motionless target. She took careful aim, and just as she pulled the trigger, she thought, “Oh gods, I hope this doesn’t kill the poor thing.” Then an enormous fireball emerged from her blaster and tore into Hoodsy like a meteor.

A lot of things turned into smoke then. The six blink dogs, Hoodsy’s wild shape, a lot of grass surrounding the druid, and something that didn’t quite seem like smoke was pouring out of Hoodsy.

_ It’s the ghosts _ , Noelle realized.  _ I’m probably the only one who can see them.  _ She quickly told her team.

“Do they seem to be going any particular way?” Katke asked, still on the ground.

Noelle pointed deeper into the forest. 

“That’s where the oak grove it is. Did you guys know about this? Are you...ghost hunter or something?”

“Well, I’m a  _ ghost _ hunter, but not in the way that you think,” Noelle joked. “Sorry, never mind,” she said when Katke gave her a look of bewilderment.

Carey got to her feet, with a little wobble, and checked herself over. “Know what?” she said. “I’m glad we don’t let dogs on the moon. There. I said it.”

“Can’t say I’m a fan,” Killian agreed, pulling out some bandages and handling them to her girlfriend. “Yeugh, that doesn’t look great, Carey. You sure you're okay to keep going?” 

“Lady Coriander, you mean,” Carey said curtly. “And if you are trying to pull that thing you did where we went after Magic Brian and you sent me and Boyland back because we were ‘too hurt,’ and it was ‘too dangerous,’ then you can kiss my ass!”

“C’mon. I thought we went through that already. You keep bringing this up. You really don’t have to keep harping on it like this.”

Katke and Noelle glanced at each other uncomfortably.

"What did she say?" Katke whispered. "What was with the static sound?"

"Oh that, uhhhh—" Noelle was interrupted by the argument before she could answer.

“I keep  _ telling  _ you, we’re not! You don’t listen, like  _ always _ !” Carey’s neck frill was starting to flare 

“Well maybe if you didn’t keep throwing yourself into danger like this I wouldn’t worry so much about you! It’s like you’re  _ trying _ to kill yourself!”

“What? What are you talking about? That’s, like, my thing, Killian. I can take risks without putting myself in serious danger. I’ve proven that to you on every mission we’ve been on.”

“It doesn’t feel like that anymore. You’re getting wilder and doing all sorts of unnecessary shit, and I don’t know why.” Killian’s voice was getting louder.

“Are you fucking kidding me? The only reason you think that is because I can’t trust you to keep my back anymore! I don’t know when you’re gonna try to run off without me. Don’t talk to  _ me _ about unnecessary!”

“You think we should end this, then?” Killian was suddenly very quiet.

“What? What?! No!” Carey cried. “Are you saying you want to break up? Over  _ this _ ?”

“It...just...it just feels like nothing I say or do is gonna make you think this is fixed.”

“That’s because you’re not trying to fix it!”

“I am! But it’s hard.”

“ _ What’s  _ hard?”

“Goddess help me,” Killian whispered. “Okay, I have a hard time...talking about...mistakes I’ve made, because...I......”

“I’m gonna need a fucking zone of truth to get this out of you, aren’t I?”

“Come on, Carey. This isn’t easy for me. Meet me halfway.” Killian took a deep breath and then said very quickly, “SoIloveyoumorethanI’velovedprettymuchanythinginmylife, and I need to...I want to...aw damn it. I was hoping that if I talked quick enough that I’d trick my brain into telling you everything.”

“What’s holding you back?”

Killian sighed. “Decades of living as a freelance mercenary, probably. Never really had anyone too interested in what I felt about things, or if they did, there were obvious reasons not to give away anything?”

“So you didn’t talk to anyone about these types of things? Didn’t you ever date?”

“Mostly I just got by with my humor and sarcasm. And big muscles. Girls tended to be fans of those.”

Carey smothered a laugh. “Stop it,” she said. “I’m not gonna let you get away with this just for being funny. I’m not that easy.”

“Oh really? How about these big muscles? Can they convince you?” Killian picked Carey up carefully and held her up over her head. 

“Oh, hi Noelle and Cat Key,” Carey said from her vantage point. “I, uh, forgot you were there.”

Killian turned around very quickly and set her girlfriend down. “Oh shit, you were there? You  _ were _ there. You heard...well, shit. Sorry about that. It’s, uh, not something that we’d typically do on a mission.”

“It’s not something we’d typically do at all,” Carey muttered.

“Please please _ please  _ can we not start this all over again? I get that we gotta hash this stuff out, but can’t we wait till we get back to the moon? First thing when we get back?”

“Well, okay,” Carey said, “but Imma hold you to that.”

“Right! Sorry again you guys had to sit in on that,” Killian said. “You can forget that ever happened. Where were we?”

“Just where we were before the fight, really,” Noelle said. “Except with more ghosts now.”

“Are...are we just glossing over the fact that you guys are here on a mission? And you’re apparently from the  _ moon _ ? And you keep going staticy when you talk—am I losing my mind? What's going on here?” Katke asked. They paused for a moment, and their face got very concerned. “Now hold on,” they said. “You need me alive to get out of here. There’s no way you’re getting to the oak grove and back out on your own.”

“Cat Key! Buddy! We’re not gonna hurt you!” Carey exclaimed.

“What  _ are _ we going to do?” Noelle asked. The three stared reflectively at Katke until the ranger had scrunched up into an uncomfortable ball. 

“Okay, we’ll be straight with you,” Carey said.

“Will we?” Killian asked with a tiny grin and raised her eyebrows.

“Shut up. You know what I mean. I’m still mad at you. Cat Key, dear, as you’ve put together, I’m not Lady Coriander. This, thank the goddess, isn’t Salt—or Rosemary. We’re investigators.”

“Of...what?” Katke asked after Carey didn’t continue. 

“Well that’s the thing. We’re not sure yet. We were sent by our organization, The Moon, to track down ghosts, spirits, liches, and the like and...deal with them. That often means extermination, but sometimes a spirit just needs a little smooth talking or a bit of therapy to stop causing mischief. Your first thought when you see a ghost shouldn’t be ‘destroy.’” Carey gave Noelle a tiny smile. 

“So...why couldn’t you just say that in the first place?” Katke asked hesitantly.

“Oh,” Carey said. “Well we like to keep these things on the down low. Don’t wanna freak people out if we don’t need to.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” Katke nodded. “I’ll keep quiet about all this.”

“We’d appreciate that,” Killian said. 

“We should really be getting after the ghosts,” said Noelle. “They’re, well, I’m pretty sure I heard them last night.” She told them what had happened.

“I’m officially spooked,” said Katke, who had looked officially spooked since the encounter with the druid. “I don’t wanna be possessed. How do these things possess you?”

Killian and Carey looked at Noelle. 

“Oh,” she said. She straightened up and tried on a tone of voice that suggested she had exhaustive authority on the subject—and hadn’t discovered it just yesterday. “Well, it’s not an easy thing to do, and the more alert you are, and the more aware of the possibility, the harder possession will be. That being said…” The momentary relief on Katke’s face drained. “...There were a  _ lot  _ of ghosts—a pile of them, if you will—in Hoodsy’s body, and I didn’t believe what we’re dealing with here. All bets are off. Oh!” Noelle suddenly noticed the terror on Katke’s face. “But even with that, I doubt you are in any  _ real _ danger. The ghosts fled and didn’t come at you.” She hurriedly assured the other three. “They must’ve known they couldn’t take you. You have very strong wills.”

Carey grinned and gave her a thumbs up. Noelle wanted to communicate that she actually wasn’t sure of this at all, but her robot body wasn’t shrug-compatible, so she made do with a shimmy.

With Katke reassured, the team started off again.


	12. Chapter 12

It was about two hours of walking before they reached the oak grove. The trees here were a bit smaller and more sparse, and it made for a lot more underbrush. Noelle’s different body parts whined at her unhappily as twigs and leaves got caught in them. Katke was a good guide, though, and they were able to make their way with relative ease.

“So...are you...sensing the ghosts at all? How do you find them?” Katke finally asked. 

Killian cleared her throat to answer, but stopped short. She pointed to a boulder that had an enormous blackened pit in it.

“Is that from…” Noelle trailed off.

Killian nodded.

Katke followed Killian’s finger and looked at the boulder. They knit their brow for a second and a foggy look crossed their face. Then, as had happened when Noelle asked about the twins, their expression cleared and they looked blankly at the rock. 

“What is it? What do you see?” they asked.

“Oh, uh, there’s ghost...goo—spectral residue, it’s technically called—on that rock over there,” Killian said.

“That’s probably what’s been causing all the fuzzy feelings people get when they’re here,” Carey added.

“Yeah...I’m sorta feeling it,” Katke said. Their gaze kept sliding over the burned rock.

“Okay,” said Carey, “but where are the ghosts?”

Everyone looked around, like somehow they had missed a pack of spirits. 

Noelle, as the ghost expert in this new story, took it upon herself to say, “They can’t be far away. Let’s check,” she gestured vaguely to her right, “over there.”

As they walked, they saw a dying tree riddled with scores of tiny holes that went completely through it. Katke again wasn’t able to focus his attention on it. 

And then they came upon an old, unlit campfire. The three glanced at Katke, making sure he was able to see it too.

“Ghosts?” the ranger asked doubtfully. Killian tightened her grip on her crossbow, which she’d had unslung since entering the oaks. “Not likely,” she muttered. “Keep your eyes out for…” she paused. Katke would only hear static if she said Mai’s name. “...for anyone suspicious.”

Near the fire were the remains of a rabbit, and near that was a small cave.

Carey pulled a runestone from her belt, whispered a word, and it began to glow. She tossed it into the cave. The stone lit up a boy—a half elf—sleeping in a curled ball. He was muddy, gaunt, barely clothed, and his hair was a matted mass around him.

“That’s not M—y’know,  _ her _ , is it?” Carey asked.

“Nuh-uh,” Killian said slowly. “I don’t...know who that is.”

“What do you mean, who?” Katke asked. “There’s nothing there.” They clutched their head. “Ugh, everything is so fuzzy. It it a—is it a ghost?”

“Whoever this is,” Noelle said quietly, “they’ve been erased.”

“It...doesn’t make any sense,” Killian muttered. “I saw everyone who got got last time. I wrote descriptions for the voidfish. I know…” Killian started to look scared. In an uncertain voice, she said, “I know everyone was dead.”

“You’re completely sure?” Carey asked.

“The only one who would have fit his description was a boy who got a big hole through his chest. There’s no way…”

“I think there might be,” Carey said gently.

“Oh, um,” Noelle looked up and noticed they were surrounded on three sides by great moose. They kept huffing and twitching—much like hoodsy had been. “I think these guys are possessed.”

Katke squeaked at that, and the sound was shrill enough to make the boy in the cave jolt awake. He sat up suddenly, smacking his head on the roof of the cave. His eyes had the same glazed over look that Katke got when looking at him. He scrambled around the cave wildly, and began a long, guttural moan. This agitated the moose—or the ghosts in the moose—and they began snorting, stomping, and rearing up. 

“We...the Bureau erased his memories of himself.” Carey said in horror. “He can’t remember himself.” 

“I can’t imagine how he’s lived this long,” Killian murmured.

As if in response, Noelle saw some ghostly shapes bubble out of the backs and antlers of the moose and make their way to the boy. As they passed, she heard their indistinct hissing and whispering. They melded with the boy, and he fell silent. 

“The—the ghosts!” she shouted. “They possess him and control him! Watch out!”

Carey and Killian both tensed up, but the kid was just a kid after all. He had no weapons, no strength to speak of, and no magic from the the looks of it. He attempted to dash past Killian and Carey, but Killian easily grabbed him by the hair and brought him to a halt. He thrashed a little, but didn’t act at all aggressively. The great moose looked on in sustained levels of agitation.

“So, hey ghosties,” Carey piped up. She kept glancing from the boy to the moose, unsure who to address. “We’re really not here to hurt you—even though you did try to hurt us. But we’ll be okay to forgive that. We just need to take the kid with us. Oh, and you really can’t be subjugating the minds of any old person who walks into the forest, like Hoodsy.”

“Hoodsy,” Killian said suddenly. “Did we ever check them or tie them up after the battle?”

Everyone was silent for a second, considering. The moose stamped.

“No,” Noelle said eventually. “We got distracted by the, um, argument, and then we struck out for the oaks.”

“Damn it,” Carey sighed. “You think we should send Cat Key back to do that?”

“I think we missed the window on that one,” Killian said. “We’ll just see if we can’t leave that out of the report.”

“In the meantime, we do have a legion of ghosts in front of us,” Noelle reminded them.

“Right…” Carey said. “Well I’d say our first priority is getting the kid safe. Let’s see if we can’t get him into a sphere.” She pulled some rope from her pack. 

The boy—the ghosts?—seemed to take this as a threat. “Nnno!” he croaked out and flailed against Killian’s grasp. It was laughably ineffective, and the boy ended up clocking himself in the side of the head. He suddenly sagged, and Noelle saw the ghosts begin to bubble out of the moose as well, who were throwing their heads back and starting to scream. Their voices were raspy and almost seemed to creak like old wood.

The ghosts gathered into roughly four separate swarms and then began to rain down on the four adventurers. It was quite possibly the collective worst experience of the team’s lives. Carey and Killian felt unseen forces smash into them. It felt like powerful waves of magic, but colder and more nauseating. So much so that Carey doubled over and started to retch. Noelle saw the shapes, and was able to feel the actual faces, hands, and legs clawing into her circuitry and trying to overwhelm her. Katke was a tiny, trembling ball next to them.

“What can we do? Is there anything we can do?” Killian choked out. She looked desperately at Noelle.

“There’s one last thing I can try,” Noelle gasped. “But I might not make it out of this. If I don’t, I...I loved being with you guys, and I’m glad that I got just a bit more time.” As Killian began to protest, Noelle reached her hand into one of the compartments in her side. She felt slithering spectral limbs inside of it. 

She pulled out a raven feather, given to her quietly after the events in Lucas’s lab. She spoke the word of summoning and slashed the feather through the air. As she did so, the tip of the feather cut a crackling black streak through the air that opened up to form a portal. On the other side was a white marble room with a table and a single chair. In the chair sat an elegantly dressed figure holding a teacup to his lips. He jumped at the sound of the portal opening and choked on his tea. His handsome face peeled back, leaving a skull.

“Kravitz,” Noelle gasped, “we need your help.”


	13. Chapter 13

Kravitz’s skull darted back and forth, taking in the scene. He reached out his hand and pulled a scythe from the air and stepped out from the portal. The ghosts felt his presence and began to shriek. The sound echoed through the four’s heads. As he drew closer, the ghosts scattered at top speed off into the forest.

Kravitz’s face reformed, but he kept ahold of his scythe. “What...was that?” he asked. He glanced around. He saw Noelle holding the feather and nodded slightly. “Oh, that explains something, at least.”

“Who  _ is _ that?” Killian asked.

“Oh, that’s Kravitz,” Carey said. “You’ll probably remember him as the crystal golem thing from Lucas’s lab.”

“Oh, okay…”

“Hey Noelle, how the hell did you do that is what I wanna know. Did you just freaking summon him?”

“I...well, before leaving the lab, he gave me and Maureen feathers. He said he’d be back for us in 20 years, but if we wanted that to be any sooner, to summon him,” Noelle said. “I’m...I’m sorry, but it’s the only way I could think of to get the ghosts off us.”

“So, you’re here to take Noelle?” Carey asked Kravitz. She went to stand in front of the robot. 

Killian hefted her crossbow and strode up to Kravitz. She seemed to grow half a foot taller as she growled down at him, “Not gonna happen.”

“What are you—what do you—o-oh.” Kravitz looked flustered. The scythe disappeared from his hand and he stepped back a few feet. “You’re acting like I’m here to kill Noelle!” he said.

“Aren’t you?” asked Carey in a quiet voice.

“I assure you I’m not! The feather—you must have taken that as a threat. I was being considerate.” He kept glancing back and forth from the crossbow bolt Killian had trained on his nose. “I...this isn’t the first time a spirit’s been allowed to remain in the material plane,” he said. “And sometimes they find that staying as imperfect imitations of what they once were before death, well, they find that things have changed—or that they have changed—and to continue their half-life is a cruel joke. I wanted to give you options if that happened to you.”

“Well you coulda been a little clearer when you said that to her,  _ buster _ ,” Carey snapped. Her neck frills were beginning to flare out. “And for your information, Noelle is  _ perfect _ . She could kick your ass. She could possess you without a second thought. Yeah, she can do that now.”

“I’m not going to try that,” Noelle said quickly. This was ridiculous. It was like when all the Redcheek mothers would try to brag up their children to one another during Candlenights.

“Of course,” Kravitz said. “You don’t want to be taken. But why  _ did _ you call me? What were those souls doing here”

“Well, we were sent by the—Cat Key! Buddy! I forgot you were here!” Killian explained. 

The ranger had uncurled from their ball, but was still on the ground. They were staring up at Kravitz with a mixture of fear, awe, and exasperation.

“Is there anything you can do for this kid here?” Killian asked. She still had him by his hair, but without the ghosts inside him, he seemed almost comatose.

Katke blinked a couple of times. “What kid? There’s a kid now?”

“The one that I’ve got—oh! OH! Right, uh, don’t worry about it. It’s a...a ghost thing. You just, why don’t you go recover a little?” Killian said.

Carey dug several gold pieces from her pocket and handed them to the ranger. “Here,” she said. “I know you didn’t exactly sign up for getting attacked by ghosts, so thanks for sticking with us.”

Katke barely acknowledged the coins. They wandered off, unslung their pack, and sat down. They looked back at Kravitz one last time, but then shook their head. 

Team sweet flips quietly filled Kravitz in on the story.

“That’s...a lot to take in,” Kravitz said slowly. “I’m stuck on the part where there are 30 souls roaming around freely. Where are we?” He looked up at the trees.

“The Green Ocean,” Carey said.

“Ah,” Kravitz narrowed his eyes. “Of course it is. That’s Tora’s area. That lazy ass hasn’t done a decent day’s reaping this side of the century. Well I guess I’ll just have to take care of it myself. But you had better believe that the Raven Queen will be hearing about this.”

“You’re not going to send them to the eternal stockade, are you? I really think they mean no harm.”

Killian and Kravitz looked incredulous. Carey pointed at her still-bandaged arms. 

“I mean, I think they’re lashing out in fear,” Noelle clarified. “I never felt any...I’m not sure how to describe it, but I never felt any viciousness, I guess, from them. Not like the ones back in Lucas’s lab.

Kravitz nodded slowly at this. “I didn’t either. There was certainly a lot of fear, but not evil intent. You do realize, though, that now that I’ve been made aware of them I’m taking them back, right?”

“You left Noelle alone,” Carey pointed out.

“That was different.” Nolle could have sworn she saw Kravitz blush a bit as he said this. “This is a pack of feral ghosts. Oh, Tora is not gonna hear the end of it.”

“I just don’t want them sent to the stockade,” Noelle said in a small voice.

“That’s not your choice to make,” Kravitz said. His eyes bored into her and made her feel cold. She shrank back. Both Killian and Carey saw this happen and closed in on Kravitz a little.

“Hey bone boy,” Killian growled. “You’re getting awful aggressive there.” 

“ _ I’m  _ getting awful aggressive? Kravitz said indignantly.

“Guys, I was the one who summoned him,” Noelle pointed out. Her team ignored her.

“Yeah, bone boy,” Carey said. “We need you to lay off.”

Kravitz was fully exasperated now. “And what do you think you can do to me?” he asked. He barely had the sentence out when he was flung across the clearing and smacked into a tree. Where he had been stood a massive moose, large enough to make the team feeling silly for missing it. With its antlers it stood about 25 feet tall.

“Cat Key! What is that?” Carey shouted.

“The ranger seemed at a loss. “It looks like one of the great moose, but it’s several times the size of any I’ve ever seen.”

“So how do we fight it? It looks like it wants to fight,” Carey said.

“What?”

“How do you fight great moose? I assume we’d just do the same thing but bigger fighting this...greater moose?”

“We don’t  _ fight _ the great moose! They’re rare, and, like, symbols of good luck and prosperity! They’re not aggressive!”

In a continuation of its impeccable timing, the moose charged them, antlers down. Noelle was near enough to pull them out of the way. The moose stopped so it was standing over the boy. It threw back its head and let out an awful screech that was entwined with the voices of the ghosts.

“Oh  _ come _ on!” Noelle cried. “This one is possessed too, by all of them!”

Carey and Killian ran up behind her. Katke followed uncertainly.

“So we gotta take it down—trying not to kill it,” Killian said as Katke began to protest. “How’s it look like Kravitz is doing?”

“He’s out,” Carey said.

“Well shit, It woulda been nice to have him for this.”

“That...can be arranged,” said Noelle. “You still have the animator, right?”

“Sure thing.” Killian patted her belt.

“Great! Then keep this old robot body fighting.” Noelle leapt from herself and toward the crumpled body against the tree. Being exposed was just as awful as it had been the other two times, and the shrieking of the ghosts intensified.

It was much easier to take over Kravitz. She felt a wash of pain as she opened his eyes. It had been a long, long time since she’d felt pain. She stumbled to his feet and took a breath. There was the sharp scent of pine and musk in the air. Also, she could smell that the boy hadn’t showered in ages. She also felt cold, as if his body was radiating it. Kravitz’s body was strange, now that she was thinking about it.

She felt...the best way to describe it would be cold and dry and husky—husk-like. It was like she was in a box instead of a body.

But no time for the wonders of being alive—or whatever Kravitz was. She looked down at his hands and realized he’d dismissed his scythe.  _ Damn, I really need that thing. _ And just as she thought that, it appeared in his hand.  _ Okay, I’ll take that. _

Kravitz wasn’t as tall as her robot, but he was much lighter and lankier, so Noelle stumbled quite a bit as she made her way back to her friends. As she did, the greater moose turned toward her and began to paw at the ground. It snorted out a great huff of breath, and Noelle was washed with the heat and moisture of it.

“Ew,” she said, and jumped a bit at the deepness of Kravitz’s voice.

As she came closer, the moose lowered its head to charge her. As it did, Killian hit the button on her animator and Noelle’s robot came to life. It targeted the giant moose and charged it in much the same head-down fashion that the moose used. It hit the flank with a solid  _ thwack _ and began punching with all three of its arms.

Carey pulled out the LSD and threw it at the moose’s side, but it only caught fur and then fell to the tree roots below.

The moose screamed out again and lowered its head to swipe at the team. Carey and Katke dodged, but Noelle and Killian were slashed across their chests. The moose was able to shake Noelle’s bot off of it and set it flying backward with a kick. It smashed into a tree with a crunch that made Noelle wince. She was already reeling from the chest slash (Kravitz was frailer than he seemed). His suit was also torn.

“Sorry about that,” she whispered. She held the scythe out in front of her, hesitated, then ran forward and swung it at the moose. The blade passed right through its hide like it was an illusion, but hit something. Noelle felt something shuddery, almost rubbery, and then it was gone. Vanished. Banished. She realized what she’d done and dropped the scythe in horror.

While this was happening, Killian was on the other side of the moose, attacking with glee. 

“Thank the goddess,” she said.

“You’re thankful for this?”

“Things clear up in my mind when I fight. For example, I now realize how much of an ass I’ve been to you. Sorry.”

“Well, it was a little hurtful when you said you’d rather break up than express yourself.”

“That was a moment of panic. Know that I’d do pretty much anything before breaking up with you.”

“You’re very clear-sighted suddenly. It’s weird you suddenly don’t have any trouble telling me these things.”

“It’s all this punching!”

“Oh is it? So tell me, what makes you so skeeved about other people?”

“Well, it’s not a tragic backstory, if that’s what you want.”

“Thank god, it’s not.”

“It’s just, in my line of work,” Killian paused to duck a flying hoof, “I’ve been burned and seen people be burned for letting others know too much. It just became habit, and it’s hard to break.” As she said that, she fired off a crossbow bolt at the moose’s head, which broke off the tip of its horn.

“Well, it’s just hurtful to me that you wouldn’t even try,” Carey said. She threw a smoke bomb at Katke so the moose missed them with a stamp.

“Hey, that’s not—” Killian started, but cut herself short. “She lowered her crossbow and turned to look Carey in the eye. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll try. And I’m never going to leave you ever again.”

“Aw babe,” Carey wiped an imaginary tear out of her eye that wasn’t quite as imaginary as it should have been, “that’s creepy.”

“And here I go getting burned again,” Killian yelled, but she was smiling. Then a giant moose antler caught both of them by surprise and sent them flying. They landed in a clattering, giggling heap.


End file.
